Final Fantasy XIII Truth or Dare
by Deviljho's Hatred
Summary: It's truth or dare time with the XIII cast. Watch as your favorite characters do the most hilarious and humiliating stuff imagnable. Warnings for language and other stuff, Parings pending.
1. Chapter 1

Final Fantasy 13 Truth or Dare!

Deviljho: Welcome everyone, to the first ever, Final Fantasy 13 Truth or Dare fic. And now to bring out the guests of Honor.

-snaps fingers and the FFXII cast appears in a puff of smoke

Lightning: What the hell are we doing here? And who the hell are you?

Deviljho: To answer your question, I am the mighty author: Deviljho's Hatred and you are all here to participate in a game of Truth or Dare.

Hope: That doesn't sound too bad.

Snow: Oh trust me Hope, I've read these types of fics before, and they never end up good for anyone

Deviljho: Exactly Snow! You actually got something right for once in your life

Snow: Hey!

Deviljho: Anyway it's not like you guys won't be comfortable, I've provided you with separate rooms

Fang: So all we have to do put up with the Truths or Dares that you tell us and you'll let us go?

Deviljho: Correct, but it will not only be me, other authors can send reviews of their own dares as well.

Fang: But what if we decide to attack you and try to escape.

Deviljho: Then you will be put in the Rabid Fangirl/Fanguy closet for a few hours.

Sazh: Oh joy...

Deviljho: Anyway about the dares you authors can send in:

**They must not be hateful or bashing to any character, any truths or dares sent in like that will be ignored**

**Yaoi and Yuri requests will be limited as I'm not a fan of either of them.**

**Also you can only send up to five truths or dares per chapter.**

Deviljho: Those are the rules, follow then and your truths or dares will beselected in the next chapter

Hope: So, we have to wait a while before it starts.

Lightning: Thank Etro...

Deviljho: Don't worry, your torment will begin soon enough, so in the mean time, you all better get comfortable, 'cause you guys might be here a while.

-Group Sigh-

Lightning: I'm going to my room

Deviljho: Goodnight everyone, you're gonna need to be well rested to put up with the challenges ahead

-End chapter 1-

**Huzzah for the first FFXIII truth or dare fic on this site! Now all I need is for you guys to send in your requests. Remember the rules above and post as soon as you can. **

**~Deviljho's Hatred**


	2. Chapter 2

Final Fantasy XIII Truth or Dare, Chapter:2

-Insert Introduction Music here-

Deviljho: Welcome to another chapter of-

Audience: FINAL FANTASY XIII TRUTH OR DARE!

Light: Where did the audience come from?

Sazh: Forget them, where did this stage come from? Last time we were in here it was whiter than a ghost.

Deviljho: That, my dear Sazh, is one of the many powers of an author.

Vanille: Ha! He called you 'dear'!

Sazh: I'm not your 'dear', kid.

Deviljho: You're right, you don't have any horns. Anyway, I'm surprised, we already have seven sets of Truths and Dares for... –checks list- Snow, Fang, Lightning, Sazh, Vanille and Hope

-Audience Cheers-

Deviljho: Now I will read them to you guys:

**Revan Farron**

**Alright, here we go then.**

Snow - Truth: Have you consummated your relationship with Serah yet?

Hope - Dare: Striptease Lightning and see her reaction.

Fang - Truth: What do you look for in a girl or guy?

Vanille - Truth: What's the dirtiest/most vulgar thing you've ever said?

Lightning - Dare: Give Hope a lap dance until he gets a nosebleed.

Sazh - Truth: Did you have a thing for Nabaat?

Hope those are half decent enough.

Deviljho: Alright let's get thing started with Snow.

Snow: Let's have it.

Deviljho: Snow, have you ever consummated your relationship with Serah yet?

Snow: Well... Let's just say that Serah wasn't screaming last night in pain.

Light: -death glare- You're dead once this is all over.

Snow: I regret nothing.

Deviljho: Okay, moving on. Fang, what is it that you look for in a guy or a girl?

Fang: Just to clear this up, I AM NOT A LESBIAN; I don't know why people keep on writing me as one.

Deviljho: Yeah, yeah, just answer the question.

Fang: Well, what I look for in a guy is that he is tough, likes to fight, and has a caring side to him.

Deviljho: Nice to know, moving on to Vanille. What is the most dirtiest/vulgar thing you have ever said to anyone?

Vanille: Well, once when I saw Light being mean to Sazh because his chocobo pecked at her, I called her a Tonberry butt.

Everyone: -Silence-

Vanille: What?

Deviljho: Nothing, nothing. Anyway moving on to Sazh. Did you have a thing for Jihl Nabbat?

Sazh: -blushes- W-Well I wouldn't call it a 'thing', but we did go on a few dates before the L'Cie thing.

Jihl: You say that as if that was the only thing we did.

Sazh: Don't say things like that in front of my son.

Dajh: What does she mean, daddy?

Sazh: I'll tell you when you're older.

Dajh: Aw man...

Deviljho: Okay, now on to the dares, starting with Hope.

Hope: What do I have to do again?

Deviljho: Striptease in front of Lightning and see her reaction.

Hope & Light: WHAT!

Deviljho: Don't worry; you guys will have your privacy. –Shoves both of them in Hope's room.-

-Inside Hope's room-

Hope: ...

Light: ...

Hope: I-I guess I should start then?

Light: Just let's get this over with...

-Hope starts to slowly take off his jacket off his frame while Light watches him-

Hope: -nervously- Y-You like what you see?

Light: -blushes- A little...

-He then takes off his bandana from his neck-

Light: -nose starts to bleed- K-Keep going...

-He then takes off his shirt, revealing his slightly built body-

Light: -grabs Hope and holds him tightly- You are sooooooooo CUTE!

Hope: T-Thanks Light

-Back to the stage-

Vanille: Do you think they're okay?

Deviljho: Knowing Lightning, she probably fainted

Light's voice: You are sooooooooo CUTE!

Deviljho: ...Or not...

-Both come out of Hope's room-

Deviljho: Have fun you two?

-Both blush madly-

Deviljho: Moving on to Hope again.

Hope: Aw c'mon!

Deviljho: Don't worry it's a truth question.

Hope: Alright then.

Deviljho: If you got married to Light, Fang or Vanille. How many kids would you have?

Hope: -blushes- W-Well if it was with Light, I guess I would have two or three, with Fang I would have two and with Vanille, two.

Fang: Well Light, it looks like you're the lucky girl.

Light: Shut up!

Deviljho: Okay, now to the next set:

**Jibean**

**YESH! NO Curved romances! I don't hate on them, I have no problem with them, just I am getting sick of seeing interesting story titles and then seeing FLIGHT or LANILLE on the bottom. Ideas:**

Snow: Dare: I dare you to steal Light's gunblade.

Light: Dare: I dare you to be optimistic about everything, like Vanille is.

Fang: Dare: I dare you to football tackle Sazh.

Sazh: Dare: I dare you to throw, instead of shoot, your gun at opponents.

Vanille: Dare: I dare you to flirt with every guy and take note of their reactions.

Hope: I dare you to (fake) propose to one of the girl's to see their reaction (or rejection).

Deviljho: Now moving on to a dare for Snow.

Snow: What is it?

Deviljho: -Whispering- Steal Light's gunblade from her.

Snow: -Sweats- O-Okay.

-Snow slowly starts to appraoch Light from behind while Fang is taking to her-

Fang: -And then I got real pissed and hit him in his man-purse and then I- -stops to look at Snow- Snow, are you trying to grab Light's ass?

Light: WHAT!

Snow: N-N-N-N-NO! I-I w-was suppos-

-Snow was cut off as Light bashed his face in-

Light: That will show him.

Deviljho: Next is a dare for Fang. Football tackle Sazh.

Fang: I don't know what football is.

Deviljho: Think of it like Blitzball, but on land.

Fang: Oh, that being the case... Hey Sazh!

Sazh: Yeah?

Fang: Think fast!

Sazh: Wha-? –Gets tackled by Fang and hits his head on the floor-

Sazh: -Grabs head in pain- Damn it Fang! What in the hell was that for?

Fang: Dare.

Sazh: Oh...

Fang: Yeah...

Deviljho: Good job Fang, next is Vanille, so you guys go back to your rooms for a minute.

Guys: Okay. –Leaves the stage-

Deviljho: Vanille, your dare is to flirt with all three of the guys and see their reactions. Sounds good?

Vanille: -Blushes- W-Well I'm not that much of a flirt, but I'll do it...

-Vanille enters Snow's room-

Snow: Oh hey Vanille, What's up?

Vanille: Oh nothing, just came to see what a big strong hero does in his free time.

Snow: Uh... What?

Vanille: -Locks her arms with Snow's left one- Ohhhh! You're sooooo strong.

Snow:-Starts sweating- Uh... Vanille, I'm a married man, I can't do this sort of thing.

Vanille: Oh, okay then. –Leaves the room-

Snow... What just happened?

-Vanille enters Sazh's room-

Vanille: Heeeeey! Sazh!

Sazh: Hey Vanille.

Vanille: Did I ever tell you how strong you are?

Sazh: Uh... No... Where is this comin from exactly?

Vanille: Oh I just thought that you could use a bit more 'attention', if you know what I mean.

Jihl's voice: Mr. Katzroy, I'm ready!

Sazh:...

Vanille:... I-Is she in your b-bathroom?

Sazh: Y-yeah...

Vanille: I-I'm just gonna go...

Sazh: Yeah you do that...

-Vanille leaves the room-

Vanille: That. Was. Awkward.

-Vanille knocks on Hope's door-

Vanille: Hey Hope, can I come in?

-Loud thumping noises-

Light's voice: O-Ohhhh! Hope! That feels so good!

Vanille: OH SHOOT! –Runs away-

-Hope opens the door to his room fully clothed-

Hope: What was that?

Light: Probably nothing, come on get back to massaging my shoulders

Hope: Okay.

-Everyone comes back to the stage-

Deviljho: Now that all the strangeness of Vanille's flirting is done, let's get to the next one for Hope.

Hope: Is it a truth or dare?

Deviljho: Dare. You have to propose to one of the girls and see their reaction.

Hope: W-what?

Deviljho: And since I am the author, I chose that you propose to- -insert drumroll here- Fang!

Hope & Light: WHAT!

Deviljho: You heard me. Now Hope, go to Fang, get on your knees, and propose. Don't forget to make it look convincing.

Hope: O-Okay then...

-Hope walks to Fang and gets on his knees-

Hope: Fang, you are the most beautiful and bravest woman I have ever gotten to know, The way I feel around you is indescribable but I know I want to feel this with you forever. –Pulls out a ring in a box- Will you marry men?

Fang: -Happily- Oh Hope! Of course I will, nothing would make me happier that to be the next Mrs. Estheim

-Hope puts the ring on Fang and drive off into the sunset-

Deviljho: Well, it certanly was convincing.

Light: Get. Them. Back. Here. NOW!

Deviljho: Alright, alright, keep your skirt on.

-Snaps fingers and Fang and Hope are back in the stage.

Deviljho: How was the honeymoon?

-Both blush-

Deviljho: Now to move on to the next set, unfortunately, we only have time for two more questions, beacuse I want to move on to the next set and do something at the end.

**Kanna Bismarch**

**No Yuri or Yaoi? Finally! I was getting tired of those Truth or Dare stories that have yaoi and yuri in them. It's really annyoying...**

Anyway, here are some things I hope you would use:

Hope: I dare Hope to wear a dress and see what kind of reaction he would get from the party.

Sazh: Is it true that during the game you had a little crush on Vanille?

Fang: I dare Fang to get drunk and do a strip-tease in front of everyone.

Snow: I dare Snow to put his hat on Lightning and see what kind of reaction he would get from her.

Vanille: I dare Vanille to stop making those annyoying noises for five minutes.

Lightning: I dare Lightning to act like a pirate for the whole chapter.

Deviljho: Now we shall do the two for Sazh and Snow. Snow first

Snow: So all I have to do is put my hat on Light?

Deviljho: That's correct.

Snow: Alright...

-Snow slowly sneaks up on Light, who is talking to Hope-

Light: So, did you two do anything?

Hope: Light, for the last time, we just drove off into the sunset

Snow: GOT YOU!

-Snow latches his hat on Light's head-

Light: -Turns to face Snow- What did you do?

Snow: I put my hat on your head.

Light: -Examines her face in the mirror- Hmmm. I like it. I think I'll keep it.

Snow: W-what?

-Light walks off as Snow laments the loss of his hat-

Deviljho: Now Sazh, is it true that you had a little crush on Vanille?

Sazh: WHAT! HELL NO! Not that I'm that Vanille is unattractive, but I'm 40 years old and she's 19 years old, that would just be inappropriate.

Deviljho: You know technically speaking; she is actually 519 years old. So, who is really robbing the cradle here?

Vanille: He's got a point Sazh.

Sazh: Be that as it may, I didn't have a crush on her.

Deviljho: Now to the last set.

**Johan07**

**I took notice that there were a few minor errors you forgot to look at, but other than that I think I might have a few Dares and Truths.**

Snow - Dare: I dare Snow to do some Algebra problems. (I'm sure that's going to be a big challenge for him. lol)

Fang - Truth: Is it true that you treat Vanille better than anyone else in the group?

Lightning - Truth: What are your thoughts on Hope? (Be honest)

Fang and Lightning - Dare: I dare you both to wear schoolgirl uniforms for the whole chapter.

Deviljho: Okay let us start with Snow.

Snow: Bring it on! I passed basic math in kindergarten, I can take this.

-Audience Sweatdrop-

Hope: And you wonder why we call you an idiot

Snow: What?

Deviljho: Okay Snow, go to the Algebra room to take a four question test. Come back when you think you are done.

Snow: -Fistpumps- Alright, let's do it!

-Leaves to the Algebra room-

Deviljho: While that is going on, we move on to Fang.

Fang: Bring it on you red-eyed freak.

Deviljho: Watch your mouth, Yun. Anyway here it is: Is it true that you treat Vanille better than anyone else in your group?

Fang: Of course, she's my sister, I have to treat her nice.

Sazh: She's not your real sister, Fang

Fang: She's still from Gran Pulse, asshole!

Deviljho: Okay moving on, Lightning!

Light: What is it?

Deviljho: What are your thoughts on Hope, and please be honest.

Light: -blushes- W-well he is one of the few people who get me and don't try to change me so that's one of many things I like about him.

Deviljho: Well, well, well, it looks like the cold hearted solider might have a crush on our resident spellcaster.

Light: S-shut up, I never said anything about liking him!

Hope: -thinking- Light is so cute when she's flustered

-door to the Algebra room opens-

Snow: I'm done!

Deviljho: Okay let's see what you got.

-Snow hands Deviljho the paper-

Deviljho: -sweatdrops- Snow… All you did was draw a picture of an uncolored moogle on the paper over the questions.

Snow: Oh crap! I have to fix that!

-runs back to the Algebra room-

Deviljho: Okay, while Snow goes to fix that, Fang and Light, it's your turn again.

Fang: What?

Light: Just get on with it!

Deviljho: -pulls out two Japanese schoolgirl outfits- You two have to wear these for the rest of this and the next chapter.

Fang: Hell no! I don't do skirts!

Light: I will never wear something that girly in public.

Deviljho: -dark aura pours out from body- Last time I checked, I decide who does what around here. Now put on those uniforms or suffer the CONSEQUENCES!

Fang: -slightly scared- A-alright, keep your pants on.

Light:-Flustered- F-fine I'll put it on.

-Fang and Light grab the uniforms and go to their rooms to change-

Deviljho: -calms down- Okay now lets move on to th-

-door to the Algebra room opens-

Snow: Okay now it's done!

Deviljho: Okay let's see it.

-grabs paper from Snow-

Deviljho: -sweatdrops- H-how is this an improvement over the uncolored moogle?

Snow: -proudly- It's colored in now.

-Audience sweatdrops-

Vanille: Serah, what do you see in him?

Serah: Well let's just say that he has a lot of 'redeeming' qualities.

Deviljho: Sexual innuendos aside, Light! Fang! It's time for you to come out now

-The doors of the two girls open to revel a very embarssed Fang and a fuming Lightning-

Deviljho: Well guys , what do you think?

Snow: Those two don't interest me 'cause I already got a smoking hot wife.

Serah: Oh Snow!

Sazh: I'm not going to say anything on the count of my fear.

Deviljho: Hope, what about you?

Hope: -covering a nose bleed- I-I think you two look so hot in those outfits

Light: -blushing madly- Hope! Don't say those things outload!

Fang: -smirking- Thanks for the complement kid.

Deviljho: Now it's time to move on to Hope

Hope: Bring it on! I can take it!

Deviljho: Glad you said that because Fang is going to be the one tormenting you.

Hope: What!

Fang: What do I gotta do?

Deviljho: Do whatever you want, just tell us about it in the next chapter.

Fang: -smirks like a devil- Okay then, c'mon Hope, we got some 'work' to take care of.

Hope: NOOOOOOOOO!

-Fang drags Hope off into her room-

Deviljho: Now before we end this chapter, I would like to introduce a new character to this show.

Snow: Who is it?

Deviljho: She is the badass, dropkicking Elvaan from the Tavnaznian Stronghold. Please welcome to the stage, Prishe!

-Prishe walks through a curtain-

Prishe: Hello everyone who admires me!

Deviljho: Prishe is now joining the cast so feel free or ask her truths or dares as well.

Prishe: And I will also be a co-host.

Deviljho: That's all the time we have for today folks, so tune in next time for another chapter of-

Audience: FINAL FANTASY XIII TRUTH OR DARE!

Deviljho: Goodnight everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Final Fantasy XIII Truth or Dare Chapter 3**

Deviljho: Welcome everyone to yet another chapter of-

Audience: FINAL FANTASY XIII TRUTH OR DARE!

Deviljho: I am your awesome host Deviljho's Hatred

Prishe: And I am your co-host, Prishe!

Deviljho: And now, to revel to cast of characters.

-Curtain lifts up to revel the FFXIII cast-

Deviljho: Before we kick things off, Fang, what did you do to Hope when the last chapter ended?

Fang: I played a game called 'Dodge This'

Deviljho: How do you play?

Fang: Basically, I throw something at him, and he has to dodge it.

Hope: She threw a freakin' boat at me!

Sazh: How did you dodge that one?

Hope: Luckly, there was a huge hole through the ship and when she threw it at me, I just jumped into the hole and I came out safe before she threw a pillow at me.

Fang: That's the last time I buy a boat from a police auction.

Deviljho: Good story, now let's move on. Prishe, if you would.

Prishe: Now let's kick things of with our first set of Truths and Dares:

**Haikairi:**

**Yay Another new chapter and by the way good job I literallty laughed out loud and my sister came to see what was wrong well here's my truths and dares.**

Lightning-Dare-I dare you to sing an anime song in front of everyone. I mean a girly one like the beginning of Shugo chara or baka to test

Hope-Dare-I dare you to wear a nurse's outfit and treat one of the girls (Hopefully Lightning.)

Fang-Truth-Is it true that

Vanille-Truth-If you had to marry a guy in this room would it be.

Sazh-Dare-Get you chocobo chick and put it on someone's head

Snow-Dare-I dare you to slap Lightning in the face and see how she reacts

Hope this help I bet people will make better ones than me well good luck and I look forward to the next chapter.

Deviljho: Now let's kick things off with Sazh.

Sazh: What do I gotta do?

Prishe: Get your chocobo chick and put it on someone's head.

Sazh: That's it?

Prishe: Yup.

Sazh: Okay then. Hey Chocolina! Come here girl!

-Chocolina comes flying out of Sazh's afro-

Sazh: -whispering- Go on Fang's head.

Chocolina: Kweh!

-Chocolina flies to Fang-

Chocolina: Kweh!

Fang: Hmm? What's up girl?

Chocolina: -sits on Fang's head- Kweh.

Fang: Make yourself comfy why don't ya?

Deviljho: Moving on to Fang.

Fang: Yeah?

Deviljho: Is it true that-

Fang: What?

Deviljho: I don't know... That's all it says.

Fang: What the hell?

Deviljho: Moving on to Snow, Slap Lightning in the face and see her reaction.

Snow: WHAT! HELL NO!

Deviljho: I suggest you do it, or do you want me to show everyone the photos of your weekend getaway to Nautilus.

Snow: -whispering- How did you get those?

Deviljho: Not telling, now are you going to do it?

Snow: ... Fine

-Snow walks towards Light.-

Snow: Hey sis?

Light: First, I'm not your damn sister, and two, what do you want.

Snow: I am so so so sorry for this.

Light: Sorry for what?

Snow: This.

-Snow slaps Light in the face-

-30 minutes later-

Sazh: Has anyone seen Snow?

Hope: I heard Light saying something about castrating him and tying him up in the basement forcing him to watch 'Failure to Launch' nine-thousand times at max volume

-In the basement-

Snow: FOR THE LOVE OF THE MAKER, HELP ME!

-Back to the studio-

Prishe: Wow... That's harsh...

Hope: That's what you get when you piss off Light.

Deviljho: Moving on to Hope. Dress up in a male nurses outfit and help treat one of the girls.

Hope: That doesn't sound too bad.

Deviljho: Yup, you get to treat Light.

Hope: Why, what happened to her?

Deviljho: She caught a fever from being in the basement too long after tying up Snow.

Hope: Really?

Deviljho: Really.

Hope: ... Fine, where is she?

-Hospital Wing-

Light: Damn... I feel so crappy right now.

-Hope opens the door dressed in a male nurse's uniform-

Hope: Hello Ms: Farron, How are you today?

Light: Shitty... Wait, did you just call me ''?

Hope: Yes I did, now you are feeling hot right?

Light: Y-yeah why?

Hope: Well then, we have to give you a cold bath and give you some anti-biotics for treatment. Can you get up?

Light: No...

Hope: Then I'll carry you to the bath.

-Hope picks up Light-

Light: H-H-Hope! What the hell are you doing?

Hope: Carrying you to the bathroom.

Light: B-But...

Hope: No buts. We have to cool you off.

-45 minutes later-

Deviljho: So Light, how are you feeling?

Light: Much better thanks to Hope.

Hope: -Smiles proudly- You're welcome Light.

Prishe: Now to Vanille. If you had to marry a guy in this room, who would it be?

Vanille: -Blushes- Well I guess I would marry Hope. He's so nice and sweet and- Light, why are you looking at me like that?

Light: Like what?

Vanille: Like you want give me a punch that's usually reserved for Snow.

Light: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Deviljho: Okay, let's move on before thing get violent. Next set:

**Resistance123**

**lol! this is funny! ok so i guess i want them to:**

Snow: Dare, fight with Serah infront of Light and then kiss Serah in front of her.

Sazh: Truth, when did he lose his virginity

Fang and Vanille: Truth, what was it like merging and becoming Ragnarok

Light: Dare, use the power of the author ;) to talk to Hopes mom, Nora, telling her that u plan to spend the rest of your life with Hope.

Hope: Dare, kiss Light infront of everyone. if she holds back, give her a deeper one! if she doesnt, well enjoy ;)

Prishe: Why don't we start with Sazh. When did you lose your virginity?

Sazh: While I hardly think that it's any of your business, I lost it during my high school years as a junior.

Fang: Impressive, old man.

Sazh: Back then I had to beat the ladies off of me with a stick

Deviljho: Okay, now you're just braggin'

Prishe: Next is Vanille and Fang.

Vanille and Fang: Yeah?

Deviljho: What is it like merging to become Ragnarok?

Vanille: Well at first it's a bit cramped, but then it's super comfy.

Fang: Like being trapped in a closet then being put into a hot spring.

Prishe: Nice to know, Deviljho! I need your help on this one.

Deviljho: -Reads dare- This will be interesting. Hey, Hope, Light, get over here.

Hope: What is it?

Deviljho: Would you like to see your mom again?

Hope: R-R-Really! This isn't some kind of joke is it?

Deviljho: Oh no, this is the real deal.

Hope: Then what the hell are you waiting for? BRING HER OUT NOW!

Deviljho: You know Hope, you're screaming right in my fucking ear.

Light: Just do it before he kills someone, namely Snow.

Deviljho: AUTHOR'S POWERS ACTIVATE! –Nothing happens- Er, maybe my footing is off? –moves left foot slightly to the left and powers activate- There we go!

Nora: Hello son.

Hope: -Hugs Nora- MOM! I missed you so much!

Everyone: Awwwwww!

Prishe: Now Light, go on and say it!

Light: -nervously- U-Um... ?

Nora: Yes?

Light: I-I just wanted to tell you that I plan to spend the rest of my life with your son Hope.

Nora: Oh my! Well I think that is a wonderful idea. I hope that he will take good care of you too.

Hope:-Blushes- M-Mom...

Deviljho: Okay everyone, Nora is now a part of the cast! You can ask her question or dares as well.

Hope: You mean she gets to stay!

Deviljho: Yup.

Hope: YES!

Vanille: Aw this is so sweet!

Prishe: Alright! Enough with the touchy-feely crap, let's move on.

Deviljho: Agreed, moving on to Snow and Serah. Light, if you could get Snow out of my basement.

Light:...Fine...

-10 minutes later-

Snow: Thank you so much for releasing me sis, I promise never to do anything like that again.

Light: You better not.

Serah: SNOW! Get over here RIGHT NOW!

Light: What's going on?

Snow: You...might not want to hear this.

-Serah walks on stage-

Serah: There you are. Snow I have a bone to pick with you!

Snow: What did I do this time!

Serah: Do you care to tell me why the toilet seat in our room is not placed down.

Snow: Oh for the love of the Maker, you pick a fight about this EVERY SINGLE MORNING!

Serah: IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I DON"T LIKE TO BE WELCOMED BY THE SIGHT OF IT EVERY MORNING!

Snow: THEN WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CLOSE IT YOURSELF!

Serah: THATS BEACAUSE I THOUGHT MY 'HERO' COULD DO ME A SIMPLE FAVOR BY CLOSING THE DAMN SEAT!

Snow: WHY ARE WE YELLING WHEN WE ARE THREE FEET FROM EACH OTHER!

Serah: BECAUSE IF I STOP YELLING, IT WILL SEEM LIKE I LOST THE FIGHT!

Snow: BUT I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU! I LOVE YOU!

Serah: Aw Snow I love you too! Let's never fight again.

-Both kiss each other passionately-

Light: What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?

Deviljho: Don't ask.

Prishe: Moving on now to Hope, kiss Light in front of everyone and if she resists, kiss her more deeper.

Hope: O-Okay. –Walks towards Light-

Hope: Hey Light!

Light: Yeah Hope?

Hope: -Lunges forward and kisses her deeply-

Light: -Tries to push him off- H-Hope!

Hope: -Kisses deeper-

Light: -Lies back and accepts it-

Nora: -Takes picture with a camera- My son's first girlfriend, I'm so glad I got to see this.

Prishe: Now that this is done, let's move on to the next set:

**Erifrats 101**

**For some reason, I assumed the "no yuri/yaoi" implied no non-canon pairings at all, but whatevs (nothing past friendship, at least)...**

Fun/cute story so far!

Uh, lemme see:

Vanille and Lightning: Dare: Act like one another for a whole chapter (or see how long they last)

Fang: Dare: Get Lightning drunk (remember, desperate times call for desperate measures)

Serah: Discover all the XIII pairings and tell us your reactions to them

Guys: Dare; each teach Hope of "the birds and the bees" in thier own way (esp. Snow, :P)

Thats it for now. If I dont review, I'm still hovering around reading the fic. I like the idea you have with making this fic; keep it up! :) 

Deviljho: Let's start with the guys, It's time to teach Hope how babies are made.

Sazh: Leave it to me. I'm a dad after all.

Dajh: To tell 'um daddy!

Snow: No way, I'll teach the boy the birds and the bees.

Sazh: Why should you? Knowing you, you'll probably teach him more about how to have sex than where babies come from!

Snow: What about you? You'll probably bore him to death with your old ways of teaching him.

Sazh: You callin me old, punk?

Snow: Maybe I am.

-Both start to fight-

Prishe: Should I break them up?

Light: Naw, let them duke it out for a while.

Deviljho: Taking all bets! It's the match of the century! Flight Pilot versus Gorilla Man!

Fang: 100,000 gil on Snow!

Jihl: 50,000 gil on Sazh.

-Meanwhile with Cid and Hope-

Cid: -and that's where babies come from.

Hope: Thanks Cid! I knew I could count on you!

Cid: No problem.

-Back to the fight-

Prishe: And the winner is; Sazh the Flight Pilot!

Vanille: Wow, didn't see that coming.

Light: It sure made for good entertainment.

Deviljho: And I made out with a cool one-hundred thousand gil.

Fang: You cheating son of a-

Deviljho: Can't hear you, don't care!

Prishe: Moving on to Serah. Discover all of the FFXIII pairings and tell us about them.

Serah: Okay. –Runs to computer room-

Deviljho: While she does that we move on to Vanille and Light.

Vanille: What do we have to do?

Prishe: Act like each other for as long as you can.

Light: ...You can't be serious.

Deviljho: Does this face look not serious to you? –Insert derpy face here-

Light: Actually yes.

Deviljho: Well, tough, you gotta do it.

Vanille: Oh, oh, me first, me first! *Ahem* -In a cold voice- Is this good enough?

-Silence-

Prishe: Ahahahahahahahahaha!

Deviljho: Pfft-

Hope: Hahahahahaha!

Snow: *snort*

Sazh: -chuckles-

Vanille: -Normal voice- Why are you guys laughing at me?

Deviljho: Because, you can't pull off being cold.

Vanille: -Pouts- I can too...

Prishe: Alright Light, (giggle) your turn.

Light: Okay just let me get into character. –Puts her hair into pigtails-

Snow: What the-

Light: -In a sugary sweet voice- Tralalalala! I love everything and everyone! I always think about other people before me and I always like to put cute looking animals in between my breasts. The smell of Behemoth shit always reminds me of my home on Gran Pulse! Ahhhhh, everything is so wonderful! –Normal voice- How was that?

Hope:... I think Light just tried to make a joke.

Deviljho: I don't know whether to laugh or to be scarred.

Serah: -Walks to the stage- I'm back!

Prishe: How did your research go?

Serah: Well I saw some great stories of Hope/Light and Hope/Vanille, and even some with me and Snow. But I have to say that there is too many stories that make Light a lesbian or Snow wanting to be with Hope, not that I have anything against these pairings I just don't prefer them. There was also some strange pairing of me and Fang, and Hope/Fang. Hope/Fang I can understand because they actually communicated to each other in the game but why me and Fang? We never even meet before; we had never talked to each other or even gave a small gesture to each other, so why are people pairing us up-

Prishe: Okay Serah, I think you should stop there before you start a flame war or something.

Deviljho: Agreed, we now move on to the next set:

**LightofaNewDawn:**

**This looks quite interesting, and I'm pleased you excluded yuri and yaoi. I think I'll give it a shot.**

Snow: Dare - Write and recite a love poem to Lightning and watch her reaction.

Sazh: Dare - Throw your chocobo chick at Prishe or Fang. Hard.

Lightning: Dare - Give Snow a small kiss on the cheek. Do it. I beg you. No buts.

Vanille: Truth - Had a crush on Hope during the game, or just being friendly?

Hope: Dare - Profess your love for Lightning in a very romantic confession (whether you really do like her or not)

Fang: Dare - Dance like a cactuar in front of everybody.

Prishe: Dare - Tickle any of the characters, author's choice.

Prishe: Why don't we start with Light, give Snow a small kiss on the cheek.

Light: ...

Snow: Sis?

Light: -Walks to Snow- This is a one time thing, understand that Villers?

Snow: Y-Yes.

Light: -Gives Snow a sisterly peck on the cheek- There, happy?

Deviljho: Very, now to Vanille, did you have a crush on Hope during the game or were you just being friendly?

Vanille; Oh no, I don't have a crush on him, we're too good of friends for us to be anything else.

Hope: I like you as a friend too.

Vanille: -Ruffles up Hope's hair- Aw, thanks Hope!

Prishe: Now we move on to Hope, Proclaim your love to Light in front of everyone.

Hope: O-Okay then... –Walks towards Light- Hey, Light?

Light: Yeah? What is it Hope?

Hope: Light, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Your beauty radiates from your every being and your soulful blue eyes hold so much kindness and care in them. I cannot even begin to express how much you mean to me, but what I do know is that I love you and I always will.

Everyone: Awwwwww!

Light: -Blushes Heavily- I-I love y-you too Hope.

Prishe: Okay let's move on before we have a little pink-haired boy with green eyes running around the set.

Deviljho: Agreed, we move on to you Prishe.

Prishe: Finally! What do ya got for me boss?

Deviljho: I want you to tickle Cid.

Prishe: ...

Deviljho: ...

Prishe: Really?

Deviljho: Really.

Prishe: ...Fine –Walks to Cid- Hey Cid!

Cid: What?

Prishe: Take this! –Tickles his armpits-

Cid: ... What are you trying to do?

Prishe: Tickle you?

Cid: I'm not ticklish.

Prishe: I can tell.

Cid: Now can I continue to read my book?

Prishe: Yeah, yeah.

Deviljho: Well that was a bust, moving on to Sazh, Throw Chocolina at Fang or Prishe.

Sazh: You up for it girl?

Chocolina: Kweh!

Sazh: Alright. Hey Prishe!

Prishe: What?

Sazh: Heads up! –Throws Chocolina-

Prishe: What the-

Chocolina: Wark! –Clamps on to Prishe's face-

Prishe: AHHHHH! GET HER OFF!

Chocolina: Wark!

Sazh: Okay that's enough girl, come to daddy!

Chocolina: -Stops clawing at Prishe- Kweh! –flies to Sazh-

Sazh: Hey Prishe, no hard feelings?

Prishe: You're lucky I don't punch old men.

Deviljho: That was fun, now the next set:

**Aoi Hyoudou**

**LOL Snow totally fails at alegbra. xD**

Poor Hope at the end. xD

Here are some Truths and Dares from me for the next chapter.

Prishe (Truth): Is it true that the only reason you're co-hosting is because you want attention?

Snow (Truth): Is it true that when you are in bed with Serah you think about her sister?

Lightning (Dare): I dare you to pull a funny prank on Snow and Serah.

Fang (Truth): Do you think Lightning reminds you of someone?

Hope and Lightning (Dare): I dare Hope to wear Lightning's cape while I dare Lightning to wear Hope's bandana.

Deviljho: Now we start with Prishe, is it true that you're only co-hosting because you want attention?

Prishe: While attention is nice, I only agreed to do this because I like to meet new people, its boring just being in the Tavnazian Stronghold all the time.

Deviljho: Cool. Now to Snow, is it true that when you're in bed with Serah, you think about Lightning?

Snow: WHAT! HELL NO! Not that I'm trying to say sis is ugly, but Serah is much more beautiful to me than sis is, and besides, she already has someone to love her.

Light: You're lucky that I'm in a good mood right now or else I would've put you back in that basement.

Snow: Thanks Sis.

Light: Don't push it!

Prishe: Let's move on to Fang before Light kills Snow, Does Lightning remind you of someone?

Fang: Let me think... –Thinks for a minute- Oh! She reminds me of this woman I knew, her name was Lulu. She was a bit cold at first but when you got to know her, she had a very kind heart.

Light: Thanks for the compliment.

-Meanwhile in Besaid-

Lulu: Ahchoo!

Wakka: Hey What wrong Lu? You gettin' a cold?

Lulu: I think someone is talking about me.

Wakka: You think so?

Lulu: Maybe...

-Back to the set-

Deviljho: Moving on to Hope and Light, Hope has to wear Light's cape and Light has to wear Hope's bandana.

Hope: Sounds simple enough. –Take off bandana and hands it to Light-

Light: I guess so... –Puts on the bandana and give Hope her cape-

Hope: -Puts on cape- How do I look?

Light: Silly.

Hope: Hey!

Light: Don't worry, it's cute when you look silly.

Hope: -Blushes-

Nora: So sweet!

Prishe: Now to the final set:

**Misaki Ayuzawa 012**

**Such a funny chapter. XDD**

Oh, so you're doing the idea where you're going to bring up a character from different Final Fantasy series for each chapter? Or is it just Prishe?

Anyway, here are some dares and truths you could use.

Snow and Sazh - (Dare): Have a push-up contest where the winner gets to come up with a punishment for the loser (author's choice).

Vanille and Prishe - (Dare): Dare both of you to tickle Lightning until she gets mad and throws an angry fit.

Hope - (Truth): Do you hate it when people bashes you for being such a weakling and a crybaby?

Lightning - (Truth): Would you be sad if Hope dies?

Fang - (Dare): Whack Prishe for looking at Hope's ass.

Prishe: Why don't we start with Hope, do you hate it when people bash on you for being a 'weakling' and a 'crybaby?

Hope: Okay everyone listen up because I don't want to repeat myself. *Ahem* People are always saying that I whine too much or I'm too wimpy or gay and I just have one thing to say about it. During the start of the game, I get put on a purge train while on vacation with Mom, the train crashes and we get stuck with a bunch of rebels, my mom fights to protect me and ends up dying, I get dragged along to a Pulse vestiage where I get branded as a L'Cie and become an exile from my own race and put into an impossible journey with five people I don't even know. I'd like to see all of you haters out there try to do what I did and not come out crying at least once! For Maker's sake everyone also forgets that I'm FOURTEEN during the events of the first game! I'm at a very emotional state in my life and plus anyway there are a lot worse FF characters out there.

Deviljho: Wow…

Snow: That…

Vanille: Was…

Sazh: So…

Fang: Awesome!

Light: That's right, you tell them Hope!

Hope: Sorry if that was out of character of me but I hate it when people bash on characters for the little things.

Prishe: No problem, let's move on to Lightning. Would you be sad if Hope dies?

Light: Of course I would be sad! Hope is a very important person to me and our group. And if you ask me, he is certainly a better hero than Snow would ever be.

Snow: Hey, now that's not fair sis!

Deviljho: Well maybe if you didn't say that you were a hero every ten seconds in battle, maybe we would actually think you were a hero.

Snow: Fair enough.

Deviljho: Moving on to Fang.

Fang: What do I gotta do?

Deviljho: -Whispers Details-

-Training Room-

Hope: Thanks for helping me work out Prishe!

Prishe: No problem, now why don't you get started with some push-ups?

Hope: Okay! –Starts to do push-ups-

Prishe: -Thinking- That kid has a nice ass.

Fang: Enjoyin the view?

Prishe: Gah! Fang where did you come from?

Fang: From the door behind you.

Prishe: Well what do ya want?

Fang: This. –Whacks Prishe on the head-

Prishe: OW! The hell was that for?

Fang: For lookin' at my best friends, boy friend's ass.

Prishe: What? Light can't do it herself?

Fang: She is havin' a heart-to-heart with her future mother-in-law.

-Back to the Stage-

Deviljho: Now that Prishe has an icepack, we move on to Sazh and Snow, Have a push-up contest, the winner gets a prize and the loser spends an hour in the Fan Closet for an hour after this chapter ends.

Snow: A push-up contest? This is gonna be easy.

Sazh: Don't count me out yet kid, I still got some strength in these old bones.

Jihl: Especially down there.

Sazh: Damn it woman! I love you but can you please not say thing like that in front of my son?

Snow: Whatever, can we get started already?

Sazh: You got it kid!

-Both get into push-up postion-

Prishe: Now the one with the most push-ups is the winner.

Deviljho: Ready? Set. Go!

-2 hours later-

Snow: Just give up old man!

Sazh: Can't. Breath! Lungs. feel. flat!

Snow: You want a handicap?

Sazh: N-No, I just gotta… -Falls over-

Prishe: The winner is Snow!

Snow: Aw Yeah!

Deviljho: And your Prize is one free pass card on any truth or dare.

Snow: Cool!

Prishe: Sorry Sazh, but it's the closet for you. –Picks up Sazh-

Sazh: N-No wait!

Prishe: Sorry for this. –Throws Sazh in the closet-

Sazh: NOOOOOOOOO!

Deviljho: I feel bad for him.

Hope: Ditto.

Deviljho: Anyway, that's all the time we have for today, join us next time for the next hilarious chapter of-

Audience: FINAL FANTASY XIII TRUTH OR DARE!

Deviljho and Prishe: Goodnight everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

**Final Fantasy XIII Truth or Dare Chapter 4**

Deviljho: Welcome back to another chapter of-

Audience: FINAL FANTASY XIII TRUTH OR DARE!

Deviljho: I'm your master of ceremonies, Deviljho!

Prishe: And I am your badass co-host, Prishe!

Deviljho: Now, shall we reveal the cast?

-Curtain opens to see the FFXIII cast-

Deviljho: Sooooo Sazh, how was it in the closet?

Sazh: It was horrifying! All of the touching, grabin' and pullin'. I hope I never have to go back there.

Prishe: Well tough! Cause all of you guys are going to be sent there at least once!

Everyone: -Groans-

Prishe: Now why don't we start of with our first set:

**Aoi Hyoudou:**

**Funny chapter as always. Poor Sazh. I wonder if he's alright in the closet. XDD**

Anyway, here are some more truths and dares  
Nora (Dare I dare you to pretend that you're a ghost and scared your husband.

**Lightning (Truth Are the rumors true that you can't cook?**

Hope (Dare I dare you to wear Snow's overcoat for the whole chapter.

**Fang (Truth Deep down inside, are you jealous of Lightning?**

Sazh (Dare I dare you to dress up as a Chocobo. XD

Deviljho: Just a little reminder folks, you can sent in more than one truth or dare for these people.

Light: Don't encourage them damn it!

Prishe: Well then Light, why don't we get started with you then? Is it true that you can't cook?

Light: Yeah. What's the big deal?

Vanille: The big deal is that you need to be able to cook for Hope when he comes back from a long, hard day at work!

Light: -Blushes- T-That's not a good enough reason!

Nora: Don't worry Claire! I can teach you everything you need to know.

-Everyone stares at Light-

Fang: Why is she allowed to call you by your real name and we can't?

Light: Because she doesn't ask if she can call me it every single day!

Fang: That was just for that week!

Deviljho: Calm down damn it! We have to move on to the next one.

Prishe: This one is to Fang, are you secretly jealous of Light?

Fang: To be completely honest, yes, yes I am.

Snow: Why?

Hope: She's got someone to love and protect her and a big family.

Deviljho: Don't worry Fang! I'm sure you'll find some man who is perfect for you.

Fang: ... I guess...

Deviljho: Now to Hope! Wear Snow's overcoat for the entire chapter!

Snow: Oh come on! First Light took my Beanie now Hope's taking my overcoat.

Light: Fine. Have your beanie back, you big baby. –Throws Snow's beanie back to him-

Snow: Thanks Sis! Here you go Hope! –Snow hands his overcoat to Hope-

Hope: ...Thanks...

Nora: How does it fit?

Hope: It look like I'm playing dress up with my dad's coat. Not to mention, it smells just like how Light's cooking tastes.

Light: HEY!

Hope: Light, you know I love you to death, but your cooking leaves a lot to be desired.

Prishe: Wow, burn. Anyway we move on to Sazh, dress like a chocobo.

Sazh: What? Really?

Deviljho: Here's your chocobo suit!

Sazh: No way!

Prishe: -Whispers in his ears- The closet.

Sazh: -Grumbles- Fine... Give me that suit.

Dajh: Yay! Daddy's a chocobo!

Sazh: Man this suit itches. What is this suit made of?

Deviljho: Chocobo's.

Sazh: W-What?

Prishe: Yeah, how else did you think we got it, huh?

Sazh: I feel as though I died a little on the inside...

Deviljho: Yeah, you should try to avoid that, Anyway moving on to Nora, scare your husband by making him think your a ghost.

Nora: Uh, I'm afraid that's not going to work.

Deviljho: Why not?

Nora: Because he's sitting right next to me.

Bartholomew: I've kinda been here the whole time.

Prishe: Wow really?

Snow: I didn't notice either.

Fang: Yeah, he just kinda blends in with the furniture.

Bartholomew: Hey! I take offense to that!

Fang: Oh! No offense meant!

Bartholomew: Too late Yun. Too f*cking late.

Prishe: Ooookay, moving on to the next set of questions.:

**OMGACookie**

**OKAY, SO**

I read it, loved it, and I hope this is okay... but...

Hope (Dare): I dare you... To act like Lightning's loving Husband for... a chapter (Sorry kiddo, it's for your own good though, if you have any "plans" for the future ;) )

Lightning (Dare):I dare you... To let down the whole "Lightning" Facade and actually "be" who you are (Claire Farron). No coldness, no harshness (unfortunately that means going easy on Snow) for the same duration as Hope's dare at the same time.

Vanille (Truth): ... Have you lost your virginity in the 500 years you've been alive? I find it hard to believe you'd stay THAT innocent for that long.

Snow (Truth): How do you imagine Lightning and Hope to be like if they lived in the same house? (Hopefully, this question gets asked during the time that Lightning can't strike him)

Serah (Truth): Describe how Snow is "in bed" with a movie title.

Hope, can I just say that I am so proud of you at how much you've grown over the course of the game. And... Sazh? Don't know if you can hear me in that closet but uh... Nice 'Fro.

Hope: Thanks for the compliment!

Sazh: Thanks kid, it takes a long time to style it like this.

Deviljho: Serah! Describe how Snow is in bed, if you know what I mean.

Serah: -Blushes- W-Well if I had to say it, I would say either 'Fast and Furious' or 'Deep Impact'.

-Silence-

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

Serah: -Blushes-

Prishe: Ahahaha- Oh god! It hurts! Ahahahahaha!

Deviljho: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Light: -Snort-

Serah: Not you too sis!

Light: I'm sorry but that is just hilarious.

Nora: Truly funny!

Deviljho: Hahahaha...ah, moving on to Vanille. In the 500 years that you have been alive, have you ever lost your virginity?

Vanille: Yep!

Fang: Really? With who?

Vanille: That boy Zell in back in Oerba. He was always so kind to me, in fact he was my first boyfriend!

Audience: Awwww!

Prishe: That's nice and all, but we have a show to do.

Deviljho: Agreed. We now move on to Light and Hope.

Hope: So what do we have to do again?

Deviljho: Light, you have to drop the whole 'Lightning' persona, and act like the sister that Serah knew before your parents died.

Light: I-I don't think that is possible for me...

Deviljho: I thought you might say that, so I made a gun that zaps the true emotions from people's hearts.

Snow: What do you call it?

Deviljho: I call it, The T.E.R Gun.

Bartholomew: What does T.E.R mean?

Deviljho: True Emotion Restorer. It will make her become Claire again, but don't worry, she will remember all of you guys. She just won't remember ever becoming Lightning

Snow: That's pretty convenient.

Light: But not very creative, is it?

Deviljho: Oh yeah? Well take this! –Zaps Light with T.E.R Gun-

Light: -Cough- -Cough- -Cough-

Hope: Light! Are you okay!

Light: Who's Light? My name is Claire.

**-Light will now be called Claire from now on until someone dares her to turn back to Lightning-**

Serah: Sis! –Hugs Claire-

Claire: Whoa, Serah! What's gotten into you?

Serah: I'm just glad to have you back!

Claire: Did I go somewhere?

FAng: Wow, it really did work...

Prishe: Moving on to Hope. You must now act like Claire's loving husband and be like that for the whole chapter.

Claire: -Blushes-

Prishe: Can you do it?

Hope: Y-Yes! Yes I can do it! –Walks up to Claire- Claire.

Claire: -Blushes- Y-Yeah Hope?

Hope: -Kisses Claire passionately-

Claire: -Returns kiss-

Hope: -Stops kissing Claire- Claire, I love you so much.

Audience: Awwwwww!

Vanille: That's so sweet!

Fang: Cute scene that is.

Serah: Claire was finally found happiness!

Prishe: Again! Enough with the touchy feely crap! We got a show to do!

Deviljho: She's right, moving on to Snow, how would you describe Hope and Claire living together?

Snow: Well I would have to say that Sis would start off by cooking Hope a nice breakfast before he would go to school, Claire would go to work while Hope would work hard in his studies, and then when Hope would come home from school, Claire would greet with a nice home cooked meal and then the two would just spend the rest of the night just enjoying each others presence.

Sazh: Wow, that's a pretty detailed scenario.

Serah: Yeah, that's very vivid

Claire: I think that's kinda weird that you thought of that whole scenario.

Snow: I have a lot of free time on my hands.

Prishe: We now move on to our next set.

** ff13**

**Hope (dare) do a make out session with Lightning in front of everyone**

**Snow (truth) who's sexier? Lightning or Serah? XDD**

**Fang (truth) what do you think about the Flight fanfics that you have?**

**Lightning (dare) be Claire for the whole chapter**

**Serah and Vanille (dare) pull a prank on everyone in the group**

**I love the way Snow's being tortured by Lightning here XDD**

Deviljho: Well then Snow, who is sexier? Claire or Serah?

Snow: You're kidding right? It's Serah, why do people keep on asking that question.

Deviljho: Meh, people just want to hear the opposite of what people usually say.

Snow: I guess.

Prishe: Moving on to Fang, what do you think of all the Flight fanfics out there?

Fang: I think it's a complete load off bullsh*t! I can't even begin to count how many times people have paired me up with Little Miss Lightning Storm over here, and I am physically disgusted by the fanfics that make me have a penis. It's sick to level where I fell like vomiting!

Claire: Took the words right out of my mouth.

Deviljho: Ditto.

Prishe: Since Lightning has already become Claire, we move on to our next one for Serah and Vanille, if you other guys would be so kind as to go back to your rooms.

Everyone: Okay.

Deviljho: Now Serah and Vanille, you two must pull a prank on each and everyone here, with the exception of me of course.

Vanille: That doesn't sound too hard.

Serah: Sure! Sounds like fun!

-Snow's Room-

Snow: Well, I think it's time for me to learn how to do Math. –Pulls out 1st grade Math book- C'mon Snow! You can do this!

Serah: -Knocks on door-

Snow: Come in!

Serah: Hey Snow, I was just wondering if you would like some gum.

Snow: Gum? Sure, I'd like some!

Serah: -Pulls out gum pack- Here take one!

Snow: -Grabs gum stick and gets shocked- Oww! That hurt! Maybe if I try again... –Grabs again- Oww! That hurt!

Serah: -Giggling-

-Hope's Room-

Nora: Asuran? That's not a word.

Prishe: It is in my world!

Claire: Well is it a proper noun?

Prishe: ...Damn...

Vanille: -Knock Knock-

Hope: Come in!

Vanille: Hey Hope! Can you help me with something?

Hope: What is it?

Vanille: Could you help me open this jar of peanut butter?

Hope: Okay...

Vanille: Tee hee! Here you go!

Hope: -Grabs bottle of 'peanut butter' and opens it- Um Vanille?

Vanille: Yes Hope?

Hope: There's a chocobo turd inside this jar.

Nora: What!

Claire: Gross!

Vanille: Got you! –Runs Away-

Hope: What the hell just happened?

-Back at the Stage-

Deviljho: Well that was fun! Moving on to the next one. Hope, you must have a make out session with Claire again.

Hope: Okay! –Makes out with Claire-

Claire: -Kisses back-

Prishe: I'm starting to think we are gonna have our first acceptable dare. Anyway moving on to the next letter.

**sdPhantom10:**

**What a lovely day to make our favorite characters do thing against their will…**

**Nora (Dare) I dare you to pester Lightning and Hope to hurry up with giving you grandchildren**

**Snow (Dare) I dare you to read a book… a little book called *sinister aura* … Twilight… hehehe… hahaahaa HAAHAAHAAHAAHAA**

**Lightning (Dare) I dare you to dress like a maid and serve ONLY Hope for the remainder of the chapter. For this dare he is your master and you will refer to him as "Goshujin-sama" or "master"**

**Vanille (Dare) I dare you to listen to the Slayer album "Show no Mercy"**

**Weeell that's all I got…for now…**

Prishe: Okay Snow, we'll start with you. Read this book called Twilight.

Snow: Okay? –Grabs book-

Deviljho: While he is doing that, we move on to Vanille. Listen to this album by Slayer that sdPhantom10 has provided for us.

Vanille: Okay.

Deviljho: Here's your headphones, go to the music room to listen to it.

Vanille: Gotcha! –Goes to the Music room-

Prishe: Now Claire and Hope, we need you to go back to your room for a sec.

Claire: Okay?

Hope: No problem.

-They both leave to Hope's room-

Deviljho: Now Nora, you must now go and pester Hope and Claire about giving you grandchildren. Can you do that?

Nora: That doesn't sound too hard. –Leaves to Hope's room-

-Hope's room-

Nora: Hope? Can I come in?

Hope: Sure Mom! –Opens door-

Nora: Now Hope, I wanted to talk to you and Claire for a while now about something important.

Claire: What is it Nora?

Nora: When are you and Hope going to give me grandkids.

Hope: -Blushes Heavily- W-W-W-W-WHAT!

Claire: Um...Nora, don't you think your son is a bit too young to think about that sort of thing?

Nora: I was just wondering is all... You can't blame me for asking. I mean, who knows when Hope might jump you...

Hope: MOM!

Claire: O_O

-Back to the Studio-

Snow: I'm done!

Prishe: Well, what do you think about it?

Snow: I give it a WTF; I just don't get how vampires sparkle in the sunlight instead of dying like they're supposed to.

Prishe: No one knows Snow, No one knows

- Claire, Hope and Nora come back to the stage, the first two have red faces-

Deviljho: Anyway, we now move on to Claire, you must dress up like a maid for the remainder of the chapter and call Hope "Goshujin-sama" and serve only him.

Claire: W-What?

Prishe: Here's your maid uniform! Just go into your room and change then always stand by Hope.

Claire: -Blushing- O-Okay. –Goes to her room-

Vanille: I-I'm done...

Prishe: How do you feel?

Vanille: Like I want to just lie down and just do nothing the rest of my life.

Deviljho: Ooookay... We now move on to our next set.

**resistance123**

**OMG! that was gr8! thnx 4 including my T&Ds :) cant believe Nora is part of the cast now thanx to me ;)...lets see,**

Nora: truth, who did u have in mind when u wanted your son to marry some1? and does Light live up to those expectations?

Snow: dare, challenge all the guys u knocked out when u all returned to Cocoon to a velocycle race!

Vanille: dare, kill a puppy

Fang: dare, cook everyone some chinese food!

Sazh: truth, tell us about how u met Dajh's mom.

Light and Hope: dare, fight each other in a 3 round match. 1st round: only magic...2nd round: only weapons...3rd round: use Eidolons

Prishe: Why don't we start with Nora? Who did you have in mind when you wanted your son to get married, and does Claire fit your expectations?

Nora: Well, when I thought about it I just would want Hope to marry someone who just made him happy, and if Claire is the one that makes him happy, then I'm happy.

Audience: Awwwwww!

Deviljho: Touching! Now why don't we move on to Fang. Cook some Chinese food.

Fang: What's Chinese food?

Audience: -Sweatdrop-

Deviljho: W-Why don't you just cook some Pulsian food?

Fang: Fine… -Leaves to kitchen-

Prishe: While she is doing that, we move on to Sazh, tell us how you met your wife.

Sazh: Well during my senior year in high school, we met during the graduation ceremony. We were both valedictorian for our grade and after that we started talking to each other. Soon talking turned to dating, dating turned into engagement, and well I think you guys can fill in the blanks.

Vanille: That sounds real nice!

Sazh: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Prishe: We move on to Vanille, you must kill a puppy.

Vanille: WHAT!

Prishe: Sorry that's what it says.

Vanille: I'm not doing it.

Prishe: C'mon, it's not even a real dog, it's a robot Pantheon!

Vanille: It's still a living thing!

Deviljho: Okay, we obviously not getting anywhere with this so I'm just gonna cancel this dare.

**-Dare Canceled-**

Deviljho: Well now we should move on to Hope and Claire, it's time for a three part battle royal! First Magic only, then Weapons only, after that it's only Eidolons.

Hope: Are you up for Claire?

Claire: -Bows her head- Yes Goshujin-sama, I will give it my all!

Deviljho: Lets teleport you guys to the coliseum! ** Sha-zammy!** –Both get teleported-

-At the coliseum-

Hope: Where are we?

Arbiter of Time: You are at an area where champions battle in glorious combat!

Claire: So this is an arena?

Arbiter of Time: Yes young one, an arena where the most powerful warriors in the universe come to engage in battle.

Hope: Claire and I have come to fight each other!

Arbiter of Time: You wish to fight the one you love? Very well we shall see who is the strongest!

**-The first round ends with Hope as the winner, the second round ends with Claire beating Hope, and the last round ends with a tie-**

**A/N: Sorry, I got lazy writing the fighting scene**

Arbiter of Time: You both possess strength that rivals each other. That strength can either lead to salvation or ruin. Use it wisely. –Teleports them back to stage-

Deviljho: Welcome back!

Prishe: How was the fight?

Hope: It ended in a draw.

Deviljho: Okay then, moving on to-

Fang: I'm done! –Brings in a cart of food-

Snow: Wow, that looks good!

Fang: Dig in everyone!

-Everyone eats Fang food-

Deviljho: Er, not that I'm complaining, but why is the food so salty?

Fang: What? I like salty foods, you got a problem with that?

Deviljho: No, No, just asking...

Prishe: We- -burp- sorry, now move on to our next set:

**Soul Climax**

**Oh my god that is hilarious. I have to get in on this.**

Light and Fang: (Dare) Arm wrestling match winner gets a prize, loser gets punished (both are the Author's choice)

Hope: (Dare) Throw your boomerang at Vanille and make sure Fang sees you do it.

Snow: (Dare) You have two minutes to successfully punch Barthandelus in the face. Failure will result in a punishment of the author's choosing.

Vanille: (Truth) Don't you ever get cold in that outfit?

Sazh: (Truth) Has your chocobo chick ever pooped in your hair? Be honest.

Deviljho: Why don't we start with Sazh, has your chocobo ever pooped in your hair?

Sazh: To be honest, yes, but it only happened once when I bought her.

Prishe: Ha! Hilarious! Now we move on to Vanille, do you ever get cold in that outfit?

Vanille: Actually, only when it's in the winter time, this outfit is warmer than you think!

Deviljho: Oookay... Moving on to Claire and Fang, have an arm wrestling contest and the winner gets a prize while the loser gets punished.

Fang: You really like punishing people don't you?

Deviljho: Yeah, why? You scared you'll lose?

Fang: Hell no! I never lose!

Hope: What about that time Snow beat you in a staring contest?

Serah: Or what about that time Claire beat you in a race?

Fang: Oh shut up! You're not helping!

Prishe: Well are you gonna do it? Or are you chicken?

Fang: Hell no! Get over here sunshine! We are gonna settle this!

Claire: Okay?

Deviljho: -Pulls out a table and two chairs out of nowhere- Well then, get to it!

Hope: How did you get that?

Deviljho: Don't ask.

Fang: -Puts arm on the table- You ready sunshine?

Claire: I guess... –Puts her arm in as well-

Prishe: Ready...Set...Go!

-The two girls start to push down on each others arms only to find out they're equally matched-

Sazh: Wow, how long do you think they can keep this up?

Prishe: They can't keep it up forever. Can they?

-5 hours later-

-Most of the cast and audience feel asleep except for Deviljho-

Fang: C'mon damn you, give up!

Claire: No way!

Fang: I'll get you even if it takes all day.

Deviljho: Oh for Maker's sake this is taking way too long. Fang! I destroyed your home in Oerba!

Fang: -Distracted- What!

Claire: -Slams Fang's hand to the table-

Prishe: Claire is the winner!

Fang: Damnit! You threw me off!

Deviljho: Suuure I did you sore loser.

Claire: What do I win?

Deviljho: Same thing as Snow. One free pass off of a truth or dare. –Gives her the coupon-

Prishe: And for Fang. You get an all expense-paid trip to the Fan closet!

Fang: Hell no!

Prishe: Too bad! –Shoves her in-

Fang: What the F*ck!

**-Lots of screaming, banging, and cursing is heard-**

Hope: Is she gonna be okay?

Deviljho: -Shrugs- Dunno. Now moving on to Hope, throw your boomerang at Vanille.

Fang: -Knocks Fan closet door open- Do it, and I'll castrate you! –Hundreds of hands grab her- Get away from me! –Gets dragged into closet and door closes-

Hope: Do I have to?

Prishe: Well, we could always send you to the closet...

Hope: Fine... Vanille, I'm so sorry about this.

Vanille: Don't be, it's just a dare.

Snow: Wow, she sure is understanding.

Hope: -Throws Airwing at Vanille-

Vanille: -Airwing hits her in the head- Ow... –Grabs her head-

Hope: I'm so sorry!

Prishe: Okay moving on! To Snow, try to punch Barthandelus in the face.

Snow: That doesn't sound hard.

Deviljho: You have two minutes to do it, or else.

Snow:…

Deviljho: Care to use your pass?

Snow: Yep. –Hands Deviljho his card-

Deviljho: Good. And that's where our show comes to an end. Sorry for the long wait everyone and sorry that I couldn't get to some of the others but I don't want to tire myself out.

Prishe: Being funny is hard work.

Deviljho: Well that's it for another episode of-

Audience: FINAL FANTASY XIII TRUTH OR DARE!

Deviljho & Prishe: Good night everyone!

**A/N: Once again sorry for the long wait. I hope this makes up for it. Keep those reviews a comin! I await your hilarious suggestions.**

**~Deviljho's Hatred**


End file.
